Many times we get frustrated with things around us, things
that are not working or not working the way we want. That’s when we are full of
ideas on how to make things right, make it more productive, more effective, and
more… well, just more right. So what’s our language when we share ideas? “We
should…” do this or that, “We shouldn’t…” do this or that. And these ideas are
all in good faith, because we feel for the situation and want to improve it.
The problem with “We should…” is usually no one ends up
doing this or that, or no one ends up not doing this or that. When we say “We
should…” we might appear to be externalizing the problem, no matter how genuine
the intention. What “We should…” usually means is that everything is right with
what I am doing but something’s not right with what others are doing.
How about saying “I will…” do this or that, or “I will…” not
do this or that. And feel more empowered about doing something about the
situation. Take control over the situation with such language rather than
feeling frustrated about things not happening the way you want them to be.
