Learn and Lead

About continual learning and leadership

What’s your Language, ‘We should’ or ‘I will’?

Many times we get frustrated with things around us, things that are not working or not working the way we want. That’s when we are full of ideas on how to make things right, make it more productive, more effective, and more… well, just more right. So what’s our language when we share ideas? “We should…” do this or that, “We shouldn’t…” do this or that. And these ideas are all in good faith, because we feel for the situation and want to improve it.

The problem with “We should…” is usually no one ends up doing this or that, or no one ends up not doing this or that. When we say “We should…” we might appear to be externalizing the problem, no matter how genuine the intention. What “We should…” usually means is that everything is right with what I am doing but something’s not right with what others are doing.

How about saying “I will…” do this or that, or “I will…” not do this or that. And feel more empowered about doing something about the situation. Take control over the situation with such language rather than feeling frustrated about things not happening the way you want them to be.


Anu said...

Good thought, Manish! I understand what you mean, but sometimes the person who is coming with ideas may not have complete control/authority to implement those. In those situations, "we should" is still better that "they should" or "you should" :)

Manish Mohan said...

"We should" is always better than "they should" or "you should", of course :-). My suggestion would be in even in those cases, you could look at "I will" do things that move others towards the change you are looking for.

Lakshmi said...

Nice logo Manish

Manish Mohan said...

Thanks Lakshmi. Shnigdha Samal created it for me.

Rashid Mahmood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rashid Mahmood said...

Manish its easier said than done !! If things are not going you way, Irrespective of how hard to try to bring that change - it won't happen "the way you want it to be". Well for me this is what we call "Destiny". And no one has control over it.

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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are my personal opinions. Content published here is not read or approved in advance by my employers and does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of my employers.

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