Many times we get frustrated with things around us, things
that are not working or not working the way we want. That’s when we are full of
ideas on how to make things right, make it more productive, more effective, and
more… well, just more right. So what’s our language when we share ideas? “We
should…” do this or that, “We shouldn’t…” do this or that. And these ideas are
all in good faith, because we feel for the situation and want to improve it.
The problem with “We should…” is usually no one ends up
doing this or that, or no one ends up not doing this or that. When we say “We
should…” we might appear to be externalizing the problem, no matter how genuine
the intention. What “We should…” usually means is that everything is right with
what I am doing but something’s not right with what others are doing.
How about saying “I will…” do this or that, or “I will…” not
do this or that. And feel more empowered about doing something about the
situation. Take control over the situation with such language rather than
feeling frustrated about things not happening the way you want them to be.
6 comments:
Good thought, Manish! I understand what you mean, but sometimes the person who is coming with ideas may not have complete control/authority to implement those. In those situations, "we should" is still better that "they should" or "you should" :)
"We should" is always better than "they should" or "you should", of course :-). My suggestion would be in even in those cases, you could look at "I will" do things that move others towards the change you are looking for.
Nice logo Manish
Thanks Lakshmi. Shnigdha Samal created it for me.
Manish its easier said than done !! If things are not going you way, Irrespective of how hard to try to bring that change - it won't happen "the way you want it to be". Well for me this is what we call "Destiny". And no one has control over it.
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